What Pregnancy Feels Like When You’re Not New to Mental Health Struggles
When you think of pregnancy, what are the first few things that come to mind? For most people, it’s endless joy and excitement. Talks of pregnancy are often painted in pastel colors, spoken of as the happiest days of your life. If you ask most people, pregnancy is supposed to be about glowing skin, nursery plans, and the quiet thrill of anticipation for your bundle of joy. However, that’s not the case for all moms and parents. If you’re walking into it with a history of mental health struggles, whether it’s depression, anxiety, or bipolar disorder, the experience can be wildly different. You may feel overwhelming fear, guilt, shame, or all at once when least expected. To help you get through this time and understand you’re not alone, we’ll do our best to paint you a picture of what pregnancy feels like when you’re not new to mental health struggles.
The Weight of Uncertainty
Generally, most people would agree that one of the hardest parts of managing a mental health condition is living with all the unknowns. Will these feelings ever pass? Will tomorrow be better? And when you add pregnancy into this mix, the feelings of uncertainty and anxiety only multiply.
For women struggling with anxious thoughts, the endless stream of “what ifs” can hit like a tidal wave in pregnancy. What if something goes wrong? What if I’m not a good parent? And what if my child inherits my mental health struggles? You may find yourself cycling through these questions repeatedly, trying to prepare and studying up on them, but they always come up short. As hard as it is to accept, no amount of overthinking will prepare you for any of these situations. On the other hand,positive affirmations repeated every day, if they can make you feel even a little calmer, can be a huge game-changer.
From the first moment you find out you’re pregnant, you might feel overwhelmed with anxiety and questions of “what if”.
What Depression Can Feel Like During Pregnancy
For those with a history of depression, pregnancy can feel very disorienting. First, there’s this immense pressure to feel joy, nest, and “enjoy every moment.” But what happens when the glow never comes? What happens when you count the weeks with excitement and quiet dread?
For some women with a history of depression, pregnancy feels numbing. For instance, watching your body change may leave you feeling detached from it all. Sure, you might continue going through the motions: doctor’s appointments, baby registries, meal prep, but inside, there’s a fog. You might even question whether this was the right choice, whether you can be a parent, or whether this baby deserves someone better. To make matters worse, many people, including your well-meaning friends,your support system, or even care providers, don’t always take prenatal depression seriously. Most try to dismiss it as hormones and stress, but for someone who’s already experienced the depths of depression, you should never ignore the clear signs and hold off on asking for help.
Pregnancy and Bipolar Disorder
Pregnancy can be unpredictable, and so can bipolar disorder. Together, these two can feel like trying to stay balanced on shifting ground. If you live with bipolar disorder, pregnancy can feel like navigating two unpredictable paths at once: your mental health and your changing body.
Moreover, the emotional highs and lows of pregnancy can mimic or trigger mood episodes. A manic phase might come cloaked in productivity. For instance, you might find yourself reorganizing the entire house, obsessively researching parenting techniques, or feeling invincible in the face of sleep deprivation. However, mania can also blur boundaries, impair judgment, and put both the parent and baby at risk.
On the other hand, depressive episodes during pregnancy can be deep and isolating. And because some medications used to treat bipolar disorder carry risks during pregnancy, many people face the difficult decision of altering or discontinuing their treatment.
In the end, the key here is understandingbipolar symptoms during pregnancy. Knowing how bipolar disorder may shift during pregnancy can help you plan. Of course, stability isn’t always a straight line, but understanding your patterns can make that line a little easier to walk.
Understanding your mental health symptoms during pregnancy and knowing when to seek help is crucial.
Medication While Pregnant
Although it can be helpful to understand what pregnancy feels like when you’re not new to mental health struggles, it’s also important to note that pregnancy feels different for everyone. Moreover, understanding these feelings isn’t even half of the issue. Instead, one of the most difficult parts of being pregnant with a mental health history is deciding what to do about medication.
This decision is rarely a black-and-white choice. You might be told to “weigh the risks and benefits,” but the stakes feel impossibly high. On the one hand, untreated mental illness can have serious consequences. On the other hand, people will hand you heartbreaking pamphlets filled with warnings about congenital disabilities and complications.
Ultimately, this conversation must be approached with nuance, empathy, and evidence. And yet, many still feel judged either for staying on meds, for stopping them, or for struggling regardless of what they choose. There's no one-size-fits-all answer, and what’s right for one person may not be for another. However, every person deserves access to a care team that takes their mental health as seriously as their physical health.
Struggling with Guilt and Self-Doubt
There’s already enough pressure in pregnancy, but when you’re someone who’s lived with mental illness, a whole other layer of guilt tends to creep in. You’ll probably worry that yourstruggles will harm the baby. You’ll worry that you’re being selfish. Or that you're broken and your child deserves someone whole.
Although these thoughts aren’t rational, they’re persistent. And when the world around you constantly emphasizes “positive vibes” and glowing Instagram-worthy moments, there’s little space to talk about fear, shame, or exhaustion. So, what can you do instead of carrying it silently? You’ll force a smile through prenatal yoga. You answer “fine” at every check-up. You tell yourself to be grateful, and then you’ll beat yourself up when that gratitude doesn’t come. And that’s heartbreaking.
Finding Strength Through the Struggle
Here’s the other side of the story: people who’ve lived with mental illness often have incredible resilience. Chances are, you’ve already learned how to advocate for yourself, monitor your symptoms, and ask for help. Moreover, you’ve built tools already, whether it’s therapy, journaling, or something else entirely. These tools can absolutely serve you through pregnancy andpostpartum recovery.
It’s also important to note that some people find that pregnancy softens their symptoms. Some feel more grounded, connected, and motivated to seek support. Furthermore, some discover a new sense of strength. In the end, many go on to thrive, not because they never struggle but because they’ve learned how to ride the waves without drowning.
Final Thoughts
What pregnancy feels like when you’re not new to mental health struggles isn’t something easily captured in one story or one label. It’s layered, personal, and, sometimes, really hard. Whether you’re managing anxiety, depression, bipolar disorder, or any combination of emotional challenges, the experience can feel both familiar and entirely new. In the end, your mental health history doesn’t disqualify you from having a meaningful, even beautiful, pregnancy. But it means you may need more support, honesty, and space to discuss the not-so-pretty parts. That doesn’t make you weak; it just makes you self-aware.
